Sunday, December 30, 2012

I wonder what one of my favorite Facebook groups, Fire Andy Reid, will change its' name to now. In any case, I choose to jump on the Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson bandwagons.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Hey, this Fire open mic reunion thing is happening tonight! I still have to figure out what to do for it! But it'll be a great time anyway.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Sometimes I wish I could just go back to being a kid again. As awesome as life and technology is now, I just can't deal with having WAY too many options for what I could be doing in life outside of work anymore, so I retreat back to the simplest, laziest ones and end up accomplishing nothing. How in the world do you people deal with this in the Facebook age?

Monday, November 26, 2012

Ravens and Giants players are probably saying to themselves right now, "Wow, it's really pathetic we lost to the *Eagles*!" 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Alright everyone, I've just been informed that next up on the mic is gonna be God. I just got a memo that God is coming up next on the mic. Specifically descending from heaven to play our open mic night, no doubt thanks to that stellar performance by myself and Stephen. Probably that's why God is coming. God is on his way and he's probably got some jokes. God likes to tell jokes." -Jonas Oesterle at The Fire open mic, 8/25/08 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

So is the well for really really good 2011-12 albums as barren as it seems or are they hiding underground and I'm just getting old and out of touch? 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

I think my dreams are broken. The Phillies were losing 20-1 to the Astros in my dream from last night. News flash: It's not possible for Cole Hamels to give up 6 hits and yet allow no runs in 2/3rds of an inning. They never had Barry Zito. They haven't had Chad Durbin in *checks Wikipedia article* 2 years. And I somehow doubt he would be responsible for the only run by *hitting* a homer, then getting booed by the home crowd for it. So thankful there's no Astros on the schedule next year. Also, fun fact that the Fire Andy Reid group pointed out: The Phillies have won a game more recently than the Eagles. Depressing. 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I don't want to reinvent my whole lifestyle. I just want to keep doing dorky things like deciding whether this song is a 4.5 or 4.75. 

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

OKCupid, why are you the biggest buzz kill ever? I don't know if I'm attracted to and/or have the highest match percentages with the completely wrong people, but it sure feels that way sometimes. I need a life. 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Hey, a great Big Bang Theory Halloween episode followed by a World Series pitchers duel. Of course I'm probably missing out on some brilliant Joe Buck and Tim McCarver insight by having the TV on mute and listening to 2008 Fire open mics instead. 

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

*waits for the inevitable Jayson Stark article about how Justin Verlander has nightmares about the Giants* 

Saturday, October 13, 2012

I would rather watch Joe Carter's World Series walkoff on loop for three hours than any more comical Cardinals comebacks. You're sure these games aren't simulated by a couple 9 year olds playing Xbox? This is almost making me want to root for the Yankees now. And that's just wrong.

Now that I'm also thinking of Carlos Beltran's called third strike as a Met in 2006 and Cardinals players mocking the new Marlins stadium after Opening Day, I'm pretty sure the entire NL East fanbase wants this team to just get run over by a bus already. If it really does take the Yankees winning to get them out, I'm all for it.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Listening back to conversations on my recorder causes me to be a massive dork sometimes. Some crazy drummer at Connie's Ric Rac open mic a couple weeks ago claimed to me that he joined Hall and Oates when he was 16, which was odd since he also announced his birth date as May 20, 1953 and H&O didn't release their debut until 1972. Oh yeah, it's also amazing he was supposedly the drummer on Todd Rundgren's "Hello It's Me" considering that guy's been dead since 2004. 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Uh oh, I'm attempting to get back on OKStupid again. Sense of humor and honesty are supposedly the big important qualities, right? You're probably asking for trouble on those fronts when dealing with me, heh. *crosses fingers*

I'm probably asking for trouble. I've avoided relationships because I'm a solitary person and terrified of my weirdness being put too much under a microscope. But my sentimental side is going to waste, and I need some good way to push myself out of the house and live life more. Being either *way* more obsessive or apathetic than the average person in just about every area of life sucks. Surely there's some train wreck out there like me. Everyone seems too normal.

Oh, and it's definitely very within me to overinflate the awesomeness of girls I like in any way. "Honesty" kind of goes out the window there. It would be nice if my fear of not wanting to come off as a stalker or something did, too.
I really need to actually stick with my original plan of not watching these baseball playoffs. Stupid Cardinals. Stupid Stephen Strasburg shutdown. Stupid Raul Ibanez being a traitor and hitting homers for the Yankees.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

My alter ego Psycho(logist) Paul says I really need to kick my addiction to Hearts. The Queen of Spades is so evil.

Gary Demon: "No! Don't quit! You need to try and beat your 7 game winning streak!"

Derek: "I should search for the three player variant online that gets rid of the two of diamonds so each player can get 17 cards."

Amy: "Eric always tries to shoot the moon, so be sure to piss him off by passing low hearts."

Sensible Alan: "Forget Hearts - the real question is why the queen in chess is more powerful than the king. I mean, come on now." 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

It would be amusing to eventually do a three album song cycle about all the U.S. Presidents. The thought of one album ending with the bachelor (and possibly gay) James Buchanan and another ending with "Silent" Calvin Coolidge saying, "You lose" over a near instrumental amuses me. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

I'd say today was a pretty obvious Smashing Pumpkins day, considering *both* my age and birth year nicely line up as song titles on Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, and almost consecutively on disc 2 at that! If my recent musical projects are any indicator (especially the Nark and Canen introverts vs extroverts concept album I'm currently forming with Casey Brennan), my 33rd year will be as equally self-indulgent and obnoxious as Billy Corgan's 1994-95 was.

I really also should make another attempt at my Bob Dylan version of "Tales Of A Scorched Earth", Blonde on Blonde style.  

Friday, September 21, 2012

I wish I was half as good at normal conversation as I am at improvising alternate lyrics to songs playing in the background while I'm around people. 

Monday, September 3, 2012

I'm putting an innings limit on how much I'm watching baseball for the rest of the season. 

Friday, August 10, 2012

Wow, part of me must still be a total web reviewing dork inside. George Starostin giving The B-52's album Whammy! a thumbs up in his blog today immediately brings to mind visions of the 2002 Rich Bunnell returning as a ghost and yelling "JESUS CHRIST!"

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Classical artists were allowed to be prolific because there were no record companies.

Saturday, June 23, 2012


Winners of Time Ghost Trivia at The Fire: me and Casey Brennan

Sunday, June 17, 2012

As Kyle Kendrick gives up two doubles to start the bottom of the first, it was at that moment I decided I would rather listen to Rush and Neil Young than the Phillies sucking in Canada. Good move. 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

I really should write a song called “Complicated Brain” that can be summarized between two characters this way:
Derek: “I'm perfectly content with living a solitary day-to-day lifestyle and being completely uninterested in dating and marriage.”
Amy: “You are making a freaking enormous mistake by having this sort of antisocial mentality and not getting your emotions out there a lot more, you pathetic waste of life. All your quirks are also completely retarded BTW.”
What I find ironic is that being in the presence of really happy, energetic girls is what tends to trigger those bad “Amy” thoughts, in which this character attacks my brain periodically and tries to come up with as many reasons why I might be a horrible person as possible. Is one of them lying, or do they both have a point? That's the question...
Also watch out for Eric, who decides to act like a sarcastic asshole at completely inappropriate times, Bobby, who wants to build creative projects by obsessively plagiarizing other people and throwing their work into a different context and Gary, who would rather surf the internet and sleep than do anything productive.

Oh yeah, also Dan the Serious Businessman, who is comically honest and literal to the point of annoyance, and Jack, the old, outdated guy who hates bookstore children. My multiple personalities are so much fun! 
Not that anyone cares about CD's anymore, but it greatly annoys my OCD side when certain "cases" don't fit my holders. Down with you, Animal Collective - Merriwether Post Pavilion, The Beach Boys - The Smile Sessions, Beach House - Bloom, Dream Theater - Live At Budokan, Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues, George Harrison - All Things Must Pass, King Crimson - Starless And Bible Black and THRAK, Joanna Newsom - Have One On Me, Pearl Jam - Backspacer, Procol Harum - Something Magic, Sigur Ros - Takk... and Inni, and Wilco - The Whole Love! I don't care how good most of you are! 

Monday, May 28, 2012

If I had a time machine, I'd create a documentary series about formerly great bands getting all enthusiastic about sessions for bad albums, and vice versa. 

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Talking about our fictional characters with Casey Brennan:
ME: Amy tries to be Gretchen Lohse ut fails.
CASEY: Asperger's Andy tries to be an alien and he succeeds.
Gretchen replying to that Facebook post:
GRETCHEN: I like that in some world, it is easier to be an alien than it is to be me.
ME: I would think so... you're ridiculously amazing. If I ever get around to writing my 15 characters series, my dysfuctional couple Amy and Eric would go to a lot of Paper Masques shows and hound you and Steve. Amy possibly has her second child in between the sets of Gemini Wolf and Language Problem on April 28th.
GRETCHEN: Aw, well that's pretty flattering! I can only hope that I go into labor during an awesome show some day. You'll have to send me your series when you get to finishing it!  

Thursday, May 3, 2012

"I don't understand the full range of human emotions. But I do understand that 'Looking For Someone' by Genesis is 7 minutes and 7 seconds long." -Asperger's Andy 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Meeting the Johns from They Might Be Giants at a Princeton Record Exchange signing / post show.

Me: We [me and Casey Brennan] aim to be like you guys in the future.
Linnell: Uh oh.
Me: Exactly right.
Flansburgh and Linnell: Irrational? Grmpy? Decrepit?

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Completely out of nowhere while trying to get to sleep, my brain randomly got curious about what the Spanish equivalent of "lol" is, so I looked it up immediately and found some random person on Yahoo answers asking, "Why do Spanish people laugh like 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha'?" Nice. 

Monday, March 12, 2012

Nice... Daylight Savings Time actually caused me to accidentally come into work 42 minutes *early* today. I could have sworn my phone clock hadn't yet moved itself forward an hour yesterday morning, and I was convinced I had forgotten to make the change. Should have turned on my laptop first instead of heading out the door... 

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Girl in audience at last night's Magnetic Fields show: "Play something from Holiday! Please!"
Stephin Merritt: "Shut up."
Glorious. My recording from the front row turned out great!
Mark Prindle-esque breakdown of the set:
Distant Plastic Trees (1): Tar-Heel Boy
The Wayward Bus (0)
The Charm Of The Highway Strip (1): Fear Of Trains
Holiday (1): Swinging London
Get Lost (1): Smoke And Mirrors
69 Love Songs (9): A Chicken With Its' Head Cut Off, Reno Dakota, Come Back From San Francisco, No One Will Ever Love You, Time Enough For Rocking When We're Old, Busby Berkeley Dreams, Boa Constrictor, The Book Of Love, Grand Canyon
i (2): I Die, It's Only Time
Distortion (1): Drive On, Driver
Realism (1): You Must Be Out Of Your Mind
Obscurities (2): Plant White Roses, Forever And A Day
Love At The Bottom Of The Sea (7): Your Girlfriend's Face, I've Run Away To Join The Fairies, My Husband's Pied-A-Tere, The Horrible Party, Goin' Back To The Country, Andrew In Drag, Quick!
Other (1): Smile! No One Cares How You Feel (Gothic Archies cover)

It was probably the quietest and most laid back show I will ever see from a major band (that hearing condition of Stephin's must definitely be irritating) but it was fun. Lots of good stage banter, and it was neat the way they alternated vocalists on a few songs (Stephin sang lead on "Come Back From San Francisco" and Shirley did "Fear Of Trains", for instance). It being sold out also didn't stop this girl I was next to in line who's a huge fan - she came all the way from Miami without a ticket, but managed to find someone on Craigslist selling one while still in line. Technology!

Monday, February 27, 2012

I laugh in the face at whatever psychic it was that predicted I'll eventually get married. I am way too much trouble for that. 

Friday, February 24, 2012

Seriously, I need to stop browsing OKStupid. It's making me feel irrationally doomed about my place in the area of love. I *am* actually worth responding to and not totally repulsive, right? I'll just keep doing that exercise where I repeat awesome things about myself in my head and believe them.
It doesn't help that I'm really, really thoroughly uncomfortable with trying to fit into the 'male' perspective of dating. I'm much more comfortable being one of those attracting attention rather than attempting to take part in the competition for those women who probably get lopsidedly contacted way more. And I dunno - my messages I've sent and that were ignored were heavily focused on engaging in music dork/humorous misfit talk, and I'm having a really hard time figuring out where I failed in trying to come off as an interesting person in general with them. At this point I would just love any kind of response!

It feels so much like a job search or an overcrowded party where breaking the ice with anyone is really hard and you want to leave, yet you're staying in the event something interesting might happen. You could also add taking a test in school where everyone is scrutinizing your answers - I'm starting to think that if the site existed back when my parents were dating and they met that way, I wouldn't exist right now, either! 

Monday, February 20, 2012

ME: Someone needs to volunteer to be the "tall guy" Mike Rutherford so we can do the "I Can't Dance" dance through Sam's Club. I don't know which one of us would be Tony Banks or Phil Collins, though.

CASEY: I guess I'll be Tony Banks since you might possibly look more like Phil... hard to tell. I'll think of a few ideas for Mike Rutherford though.


ME: Yeah, I think watching this video again I could totally see my 20 years older Dan The Serious Businessman character not far off from Phil Collins. Getting rejected by a woman in favor of an iguana is also something that would totally happen to Dan, heh. 53 years old and still single without a mate! But yeah, it's a shamme I'm not close to 6'3” like Mike – in reality I'm probably more like him than any other Genesis member, with the possible exception of Steve Hackett.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I wonder what it means when somebody I've only ever really met/thought of as a casual acquaintance a few times and haven't run into in nearly a year practically ends up in love with me in a dream. I don't think I've even interacted with this person on Facebook in any way at all since friending them, not even with 'likes' or comments between us. That's pretty much in line with my romantic encounters in dreams. The 'lurkers' always get to me.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

As much as I like her as a character, Amy's "interactions" with Penny on Big Bang Theory are becoming really downright painful to watch.

Monday, February 13, 2012

I should have been watching the Grammys if only for inspiration for my Dan The Serious Businessman record company executive character. He was too busy with his "C minor drama research project". Were any C minor songs nominated for anything?

Who is Bon Iver? If 1986-1992 Peter Gabriel woke up one morning and said, 'You know what would sound *really* awesome? If I sang in falsetto 90% of the time!'"


Oh, right... Adele. I'm currently imagining the result of "Rolling In The Deep" mating with "21st Century Schizoid Man" and "No One Knows" because I'm a dork.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Def Leppard's Hysteria is one of the most ridiculous albums ever made, like the musical equivalent of Mountain Dew. I love it.
The thing that sucks most about the internet age: opinions that either don't agree with at all or are expressed in a hilariously overdramatic, ignorant way can still be found online under my name instead of in notebooks or in the trash. Maybe I really should start posting under alter ego names. Words like "incredibly", "extremely", "absolutely", etc. should have been highlighted in red every time I used them so they didn't *completely* lose their significance. Ugh.

Monday, January 23, 2012

The awkward moment when you realize one of your riffs is featured in a 1997 Offspring album. I could have subconsciously remembered that riff from "The Meaning Of Life". Good thing it's one of my unfinished songs. Also, "I Choose" is Jane's Addiction's "Idiot's Rule" with different lyrics, "Intermission" is probably sampled off Tito Puente, and "Way Down The Line" is "Da Do Run Run" with a sped up "You Really Got Me" riff thrown in. Ixnay On The Hombre - the creative pinnacle of 1997.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

"Kate Bush's entire 50 Words For Snow concept is a complete farce. Last I checked, 'bad for trains' does not constitute one word."

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Somehow I don't think I'm alone among fantasy owners in thinking, "Matt Flynn had 88 FANTASY POINTS? I could practically be celebrating a championship right now if I had claimed him off waivers instead of (ugh) Tim Tebow."

I am in a league with silly "bonus" yardage points, though I'm not sure what that performance is equivalent to in regular fantasy. Flynn still probably would have helped me out a lot either way. Unlike Tebow... oh my.


It's also absolutely sickening Tebow made the playoffs as well. Can the entire AFC West just fall into the ocean?