Saturday, April 16, 2016

I'm totally relating to the idea of the "depressed comedian" right now. Trying to figure out an outlet for my most fun, outgoing side out that feels most right without being too obnoxious in annoying people and embarrassing myself too much. It just seems like the stars have to align exactly right as far as overall setting for me to do that, and sometimes I feel so much unhealthy resentment and jealousy towards some of the coolest people i've ever met who can express positive feelings a lot more easily. I know, I need to get myself in therapy already because i've been miserable for too much of the last month and a half. Well, probably the last several years too, but especially this period. Ugh... trying to search is just stressing me out though, so I keep putting it off. Plus it's baseball season. The process of following my fantasy teams, the Green Ship Captains and Demonland Introverts, is such a dangerously addictive distraction. 

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