Tuesday, October 11, 2016

We're all cynical about positivity

Overheard at The Fire open mic tonight (or technically speaking last night, whatever):

DANTE: Yes! Excellent, man! That's great! Yes!
UNKNOWN GUY: You're not cold?
DANTE: Not at all.
UNKNOWN GUY: The positivity's keeping you warm.
DANTE: Yeah! Yes, great observation, my friend! It's 8:10. They start at 8:30 at the open mic.
ALVARO: 8:30? I thought it started at 9.
DANTE: About 8:30 or 9. Let's just say 8:30 for the math problem. So... how many seconds until 8:30, my friend?
UNKNOWN GUY: 8:10.. 20 times 60... 1200.
DANTE: Yes! That's phenomenal!
UNKNOWN GUY: I do math for a living, so...
DANTE: That's great! See, we learn something new every day! Math teacher?
UNKNOWN GUY: Accountant.
DANTE: Ah, makes a lot of sense, yes! Excellent! Phenomenal! Tonight's gonna be a wonderful night at the open mic!
ME [sarcastically] I guess.
DANTE: Yeah! You gotta be focused on doing positive things! Bongo Billy joining us in this wonderful environment, my friend! We're talking about positive energy! We're just doing math problems! When's the last time you did a math problem, you know what I'm saying? That's excellent!
BONGO BILLY: Yeah, I'm gonna be hot tonight with my man on the drums!

[a bit later]

DANTE: But it's awesome! It gives you another opportunity, you know what I mean? You got the great jokes, so it's excellent! That's like the third joke of the night that I've heard from you so far and I've only known you for about 30 minutes.
ALVARO: It's a joke every 10 minutes.
DANTE: Yes, yes, that's excellent!
ALVARO: You haven't been around me the whole 30 minutes. So... really like 15 minutes. That's like a joke every 5.
 DANTE: Ah, yes! That's great numbers, my friend.
UNKNOWN GUY: That's your mean.
ALVARO: That's my mean. It's not my mode.
UNKNOWN GUY: Or your median.
ALVARO: My mode is hard as fuck.
UNKNOWN GUY: Always love that mode.
DANTE: Awesome! You gotta stay who you are. You must stay positive at the same time! You gotta be aware and conscious of shit that's going on around you. You know what I mean? You gotta be conscious as to the sounds that you make, the sights that you see, the smells that you smell. Because without those things, why even have it? You know what I mean? So many people who don't hear at all. So many people who don't see at all. So when we got those gifts, why not use them? You know what I'm saying?
UNKNOWN GUY: Yeah.
DANTE: I'll be back, gentlemen. Pizza's what it is. [leaves]
ALVARO: That's like the least excited I've seen him as he was going to get pizza.

[a bit later]

ALVARO: I consider myself a generally pretty positive dude. I'm like, generally in good spirits...
UNKNOWN GUY: That's why you don't feel the need to tell everyone. I think he's dealing with some serious torment. He's like, going through some turmoil.
ALVARO: There was a moment of it where he said cause you don't know how long it's gonna be left. And it was like.... whoa. Okay.
UNKNOWN GUY: He's probably dealing with some serious mental shit right now.
ALVARO: Well, he mentioned the voices in his head several times during that last interchange.
UNKNOWN GUY: He did do that.
ME: How cynical are we getting? We see a really positive guy...
ALVARO: Right! Well, there must be something wrong. He's like... come on, man! In this day and age?
UNKNOWN GUY: Right, I mean, I might have been that excited when I got my first NES. Like, that whole day I was probably that excited, but that's about it.
ALVARO: Part of me is slightly envious.
ME: All your innocence disappears in like 3rd or 4th grade.
ALVARO: No, it was like, 3rd or 4th level of Mario that I couldn't get past, and I was like, that's it! This fucking game is the worst! I hate this!
UNKNOWN GUY: Then you realize how terrible the world is. Couldn't get past that level.
ALVARO: Well, you know what happened is I couldn't get past the fucking 4th level, and then someone showed me the warp in the 2nd one, and it was like, I fucking wasted two months! How dare you show me that warp now!
UNKNOWN GUY: I'm just trying to keep my joke every 5 minutes average up.

Dante turned out to be some camera guy / rapper who gave me his card ("Simply Honest Productions, Shoot Productions Not People"... heh). "Yeah, it's gonna be a great night at The Fire open mic! I'll totally leave after my set when I play 2nd!" I wish he had stuck around to film my loop pedal insanity.

No comments:

Post a Comment